Friday, May 2

A death in the family -The Mole Must Die

Please - no need to get tearful on my account.

I've been chasing this little pest as he undermined my garden over the last three months. I stopped counting after the 30th mole hill was stamped down. Each one leaving the debris of a dead muddy patch on the lawn (well - more like scrub grass now) and a lovely spread of small irregular stones on the surface. Which means mowing the grass over the coming months is more an exercise in how to deal with flying shrapnel at leg height.

The persistent little swine avoided all the usual hints to leave, and having been here before I knew the only way out of this. A Mole Trap.

It sounds brutal, I know. But if you do ever get the misfortune to be visited by Mr Moley forget all the other tips and old wives tales. They don't work. Swallow deep and get a trap - its the only certain way of sorting it out.

Final my persistence won out.

JH 1: Mole 0 (after much extra time)

As to its legacy. I fully anticipate spending the next six months sitting in garden chairs only to have a certain sinking feeling as yet another underground tunnel caves in unexpectedly. Even better when I'm using a step ladder - nothing like being five feet off the ground when that happens. Oh the thrill of it all!

This summer I will be largely giving up on the garden; More a case of waiting until the lawn settles down 3 or 4 inches lower than it was previously.

And for those who believe moles are becoming scarce. Don't believe it, certainly not in this area.

Surely they can go somewhere else for their moley holidays?

Don't think I've enough pelt for a pair of moleskin trousers though.


Jesus, John, that's a bit graphic! Are you sure you weren't pretending the poor little fella was that noisy Ashford camper?
Well i did put it onto its good side to obscure the fact I ripped its goddamed heart out with my teeth after its trail of destruction was finally ended.

Now don't get me started on the grey squirrel infestation - they've been costing me a fortune in birdseed, peanuts and (so called) squirrel proof feeders
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